Is Coaching the Same as Therapy?

I wrote about the differences between mentors and coaches. This time, I’m tackling a more sensitive topic — the difference between therapy and coaching. I recognize therapy is a deeply personal experience, so any opinion I share in this article is based on my own experience with a therapist and as a professional coach.

I believe both therapy and coaching aim to help you live a happier, more successful, and more fulfilled life. They are complementary practices that build on each other to help you realize and take actions for your betterment. While the end result can be the same, the journey to getting there is quite different. Let me explain.

What is Therapy?

Therapy allows you to explore and learn about the thoughts, feelings, and patterns of behavior that run your life.

Your therapist can help you connect the dots on destructive behaviors, work through painful feelings, and provide coping strategies for difficult situations. Through a deeper level of understanding, you can start to reshape your life experiences.

Therapy isn’t just for people with traumatic childhoods. But it can often be situations or beliefs from your childhood that have shaped who you are as an adult, that are leading to your thoughts and behaviors today. My therapy sessions involve switching between scenes from my childhood, my work week, recent events and conversations with friends and family, in an attempt to make sense of it all in an hour, while sitting on my therapist's couch (or FaceTime/phone call in the COVID days).

Over the 10 years I’ve seen my therapist, I’ve learned why I felt emotionally empty inside for a long time (hey, coping mechanisms!), how I kept people at a distance (far, far away), and why I react to certain situations today. This knowledge has helped me to gradually change my mindset and behavior to now have closer relationships and lead a more positive, deeply fulfilling life.

What is Coaching?

Coaching is about helping you to achieve a meaningful goal in your life.

Whether that’s getting a new job, starting and running a company, having more work-life balance, or feeling more confidence or purpose in your life, this goal is important to you leading a happier, more successful life.

As a professional coach, I focus on helping you make constant progress towards achieving that goal. It often requires a better understanding of the barriers that currently stand in your way, and challenging self-imposed limitations or beliefs like when you say “I could never do that.” However, unlike therapists, coaches don’t go deep into the past to deeply understand why you believe or act this way. Instead, as a coach, I focus on the present day and future of what is possible for you.

You also benefit from the added accountability from your coach to take action. Instead of pushing off that tough conversation with your boss or writing up a business proposal to start your new company, I work with you to create an action plan and timeline. Every two weeks in our coaching session over the phone, video, or in person, we take time to understand when you weren’t able to make progress, as well as celebrate and learn from the progress you do make along the way.

Coaching has its therapeutic moments. You have a similarly safe space without judgment to express your feelings with your coach. When you’re facing your self-limiting beliefs and behaviors, it can be an emotional experience. You might also leave a coaching session, like therapy, in a positive state of mind having released your worries and ready to bring changes in your life.

Both Therapy & Coaching Can Help You Lead a More Fulfilling Life.

I personally believe in the tremendous value of therapy and coaching, and see the benefits of both in my life. If it weren’t for the work I’ve done in therapy to understand and accept my flaws as a human, I wouldn’t have the deeply loving and supportive relationships I have in my life today. If I hadn’t received the coaching I did in my early 30s, I would still be working until 10pm at night and weekends, burned out and miserable.

I also love that there is less of a stigma, and an increasing focus on and access to therapy, coaching, and overall mental health these days. Companies are realizing the impact on employee productivity and wellness, and providing more mental health and coaching benefits. Businesses, like BetterUp, are tackling the challenge of connecting people with qualified mental health providers and coaches, instead of relying on word of mouth referrals. Seeking mental health support and coaching are no longer signs that you’re broken, but rather a sign of the human desire to grow and live your life to your fullest potential.