How to Win Over Your Employees as Their New Manager

I received this submission in the Coaching Corner:

“I am about to start a new position where some ICs currently report directly to a senior executive and I will be their new middle manager. Any tips or best practices for handling this kind of situation, given that my new reports might not be thrilled about getting “layered” under me?”

My Response:

I appreciate how much you are already thinking about your new employees. It’s a good sign of a great caring manager!

When we take a step back and look at the situation, your employees are going through two separate things at the same time -- getting a new manager and getting "layered." So I'll break down each one and share how I might approach it.

As a new manager, it's important to immediately establish a foundation of trust with your new direct reports.

I've directly managed dozens of people in the past decade, and frankly, I love it. I didn't always, though, when I lacked the knowledge and tools to help me do my job as a manager.

I'll share my playbook with templates that I’ve evolved over the years and used with all of my team members. From the team of people who reported to the CEO or VP of Marketing before I joined, to every new employee I've hired, it works in all scenarios when you are managing someone new. Here’s the step by step:

Meeting #1 - Introduction

You have your very first 1:1, on your first day, with your employee for no more than 30 minutes. This is where you break the ice, have small talk to get to know each other — like as if you're talking at party. Casual, but professional.

You might even address the elephant in the room, “hey, I know it must be weird to have a new manager.” And give them space to respond, if they are willing, but no need to force it.

Then, to conclude the 1:1, you tell them that you have a template with questions you want them to fill out about their communication and working style, how they like to be managed, get feedback, etc. You'll also share that you'll answers these questions during your next discussion, too.

Link to Communication & Working Style template here

Meeting #2 - Communication & Working Style

Ideally this meeting is 1 hour long, and about 2 days from the first one to give them time to fill out the Communication & Working Style template. Your employee with go first, sharing their answers to each question from the template. Your job is to listen, ask clarifying questions, and engage your curiosity with the employee. This is your time to showcase that you care by actively listening to them.

Once they're done, you'll share your answers to your questions. This is a great time to show your vulnerability (which builds trust), by not holding back with your answers. Once you’ve completed your turn, you'll thank them for taking the time to share, so you can work and communicate effectively moving forward.

At this time, you will also introduce another template — the Career Development Plan. To help your employee feel and actually be successful, you need to better understand their overall career goals, and not just at your company. You will ask them to spend the next month to complete this template, and to set up time with you when they are done.

Link to Career Development template here

Meeting #3 - Regular 1:1s

You'll conduct your regular weekly 1:1s, which are at least 30 minutes long. There are many ways to run your 1:1s, but I like to have my employees share (1) what’s going well and recent wins, so we can celebrate these, (2) what could be better, so we can commiserate, and (3) where can I help, so we can problem solve together or know where I need to step in.

Depending on the size and structure of your team, you might need to ask different questions to use the 1:1 most effectively. Your 1:1s are an opportunity to engage and motivate your employee, identify issues and opportunities early, and have a pulse on your team as a whole. What it shouldn't be is a status update meeting, which can be accomplished in a simple email.

Meeting #6(ish) - Career Development Plan

In this discussion, your employee will walk through their completed Career Development Plan document. You'll let them know that you only want to listen and learn today (and it’s not about committing to anything).

Many managers are scared to do these Career Plan discussions because they’re afraid of an employee demanding something (like a promotion), and feeling like they need to respond with a yes or no on the spot.

The purpose of this exercise is for you to understand what your employees expectations are, so you can help them work towards a promotion/change/role in a few months, if it’s possible. If they aren’t close to a promotion or it’s not organizationally possible, you can start planting obvious signs (and maybe communicating directly at a later point) that there is no promotion in the near term. If that’s a deal breaker for them, then that’s OK.

We, as managers, have to let go of the idea that every employee will achieve all their career goals with us and at your company.

The Career Development Plan will make it obvious, too. They want to be VP of Marketing some day. But you're the VP of Marketing. So unless you're leaving or get fired, then that job's not available to them. And if they are ready for that role, they should move on, and you can encourage them to do so.

Your employee's Career Development Plan becomes your roadmap of how to help your employee remain engaged with their role. You can create action items together, incorporate them into their OKRs or weekly 1:1s, and help them track their progress against their career goals.

Through a combination of these pointed discussions, your employee should feel that you’ve really got their back. Within three months, they’ll feel grateful to have you as their new caring manager, but also know that there will be people who leave. Again, not everyone will achieve their career goals there and you can trust that they are doing what’s best for them.

Being layered is more than just being pushed down a level. It can mean losing visibility, access, recognition, a promotion, and context.

People care more when they feel like they are going to lose something than when they gain something. When you get layered, it feels like you’re losing a lot. So even if you’re a much better manager than their previous leader, don’t take it personally if your team freaks out — it’s actually not all about you.

But here’s what you can do. Figure out how to address the things they might care about losing with you as their manager.

For example, they might care about maintaining their visibility into higher-level company decisions. Ask your senior leader/executive if you can continue sharing that level of information with your team. Invite senior leadership to your team meetings every 2-3 months, do Q&As, and have them share context directly.

Maybe your employees are concerned that leadership won’t know what they’re working on, and the impact they’re having, which could hurt their chance for a promotion. Come up with a way to share your team member’s accomplishments. Send a weekly email update, create a shout out Slack channel with your team and leadership, set up quarterly skip level meetings for your employees to meet with your senior leader.

Also, ask your senior leader to send positive praise to your team members, especially for things that are less obvious but still impactful. The kind of behind-the-scenes stuff that doesn't always get a lot of recognition — they implemented a new process, coordinated multiple teams for a complex launch, found ways to reduce costs for the company. You get it.

You can be direct about the fact that you’re doing these new things (e.g., info sharing, skip levels, weekly updates) to ensure your employees maintain visibility, context, and recognition under your leadership. This, combined with your support of their work and career, will reassure your employees that you get it, you're their advocate, and help you build a stronger bond with them.

Whatever you do, don’t undercut yourself or do nothing.

During this transition, your imposter syndrome may flare up, or that negative voice in your head may make you say what you think everyone is thinking. “I know you all liked reporting to Senior Leader/Executive, and I’m sorry that you’re going to have to report to me now.”

Reminder. That’s the pesky voice in your head, and not what they’re actually thinking. The fact is, they have a lot of thoughts but they’re still processing this change. If you say that though, your team will definitely think that.

Instead, say something like “I’m so excited to be part of this team. I want to work with each of you, learn more about you, and make sure I can help each of you be successful here.” Always keep it positive and focused on the future.

This change can be overwhelming, not just for employees, but for you, too. You might even be tempted to shut down and not do anything at all. Just pretend business as usual, jump right into regular 1:1s, and do what you’ve always done when managing employees.

The effort you put in at the beginning of the relationship determines the level of trust, respect, and psychological safety that employees will have with you. Don’t invest in it, then there’s no foundation to build on, and it’s forever a shaky relationship until one of you calls it quits.

It’s going to take time and effort to help your employees through this transition. But given that you cared enough to ask, I think you’re already on the right path. Now, it’s time to take action.

Good luck. You got this.